Dear vulnerable self...

Isn’t it funny how we feel we vibe with someone really well but all the while we never realize the infinity that they are holding in within themselves? Yes, we sure do know them so dang well but that’s not the point. The question is how much do we understand them? How much do we hear their unsaid problems, answer their unasked questions, or see their unseen tears?

  

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People putting up a face every freaking day and showing up with their hidden vulnerable self to this world, this blog is all for you. I don’t know how you manage to do it but hey, I want you to know that there’s no one stronger than y’all and I am so incredibly proud of you. I want you to know that you’re the most beautiful and amazing broken person out there:)

It is weird how no one can understand “feelings”. It is like we want people to know what we’re going through but cannot frame the right sentences to explain it. Or maybe somehow, we did find the right words but they end up being not right enough for them to understand. The thing is we ourselves don’t actually know what’s harder- the need to explain everything or the need to explain everything right. Something about vulnerability is very different. It just makes you run out of thoughts, ideas, and focus. All it leaves you with is that constant feeling of fear and not to forget, insecurities. Fear of anything and everything and insecurities that knows no limits. To top it all what confuses us more is that feeling of numbness that starts to kick in; the feeling where we cannot decide if at all we wanna talk to people and let it all go or just stay on our own and let things sink in. We might break into million different pieces, shatter into bits but we never forget to guard that unguarded self. We make sure to cry when no one’s watching, we make sure to scream in the void, we make sure to keep our walls up all the time. No wonder we’re the reason for our worsened condition.

 

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It is, no doubt, very difficult to trust people with your vulnerable side. A person already crushed and defeated by life would know it better than anyone else. But you do realize that people who genuinely care for you, need you and love you would never make you feel that it’s normal or simple enough for you to get over it, right? You need to realize that there’s a difference between trusting everyone and trusting just the right ones. Now, if this got you wondering about how to know if someone actually cares or just does that for the sake of it, then my friend, I need you to know that words can be faked but actions… never! People’s actions say everything about them, their reactions to your problems is everything that you’d ever need to know about them. And still, if you feel like you cannot handle everything that’s happening around you, or it is getting too much for you to deal with or you’re thinking to quit, then how about you answer some of my questions:

Even after everything that life has put you through, did you forget that you’re still surviving? After everything you’ve gone through, every wrong that life and people have done to you, did you forget about that strength that’s still keeping you intact? Even after being brutally smashed by life, did you forget that you’re still living on that one ray of trust, hoping that tomorrow might be better than today? After so many times when you’ve wished to quit, did you forget that today you’re still standing tall?

All I’m saying is that you’ve been helpless before, you’ve been knocked down by life before, been broken to bits before, but how much of it has left you thinking that “this is the end”? Aren’t you still hanging in and instead of running away, facing all your issues? Aren’t you still radiating kindness and strength looking back at everything that you’ve survived through? 

Yes, you might have left and lost your old self behind somewhere searching for happiness, but remember life is always about new beginnings. Nothing remains constant, neither you nor the situation. If today it seems like everything has come to an end, remind yourself that this earth is still round and apparently, has no end to it. To reach to that bright sunny side of it, you’d need to go through the cold dark nights and remember, it won’t take forever. You just have less than a mile to go to reach your destination, to your dream life. It won’t take you long enough to make all your dreams come true; touch and hug them and let them become a part of your life forever. But for all this to happen, you just need to remind yourself of your strength, of everything that you’ve been through and still survived, of every fear that you’ve overcome, of every situation you thought to quit but instead conquered. 

Reminder: Life is not always rainbows and sunshine but it isn’t always pain and sorrows too<3  

-Crystall✨

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